My first learning experience ...Mark Part 1 "The Ex"

Now let’s see, where do I begin, how about July 1999.  Although, not the beginning of my vast “experiences” it is definitely a good starting point.  It’s the summer before my Junior year of college and the beginning of my first serious relationship, or should I say the beginning of a long exercise in bad judgment.

            Mark and I were at the local $1.00 movie and we’d had a few drinks and we’re watching “SouthPark,” when Mark leans over and says “so you wanna be my girl.”  Every girls dream right, tipsy, if not drunk on a date that cost a total of $2, why not?  Now in my head that means, I am now girlfriend, the only girlfriend, not “main girl”, not “trophy girl’, and not “when it is convenient” girl.  I am the one and only girlfriend, and I would think that would be the case for any sane human being viewing the situation at hand.  But ladies, lesson number one, when you are dealing with a boy, emphasis on boy, do not expect sane behavior, thinking, or actions.  There is an episode of Seinfeld when Jerry’s brain or “northern head” is battling his “southern head.”  The brain being logical knows he is not really interested in anything but the physical with the girl and should therefore stop the relationship immediately; however the ‘southern head’ is perfectly fine with leading the girl on for just physical purposes.  In the episode the brain wins and he ends up breaking it off with the girl, however, in reality the brain doesn’t really start winning until the “southern head” just stops rising to the occasion, and in the age of “the little blue pill” ladies, we are talking seventies.  You may be thinking now, man I’m screwed, guess what, you would be right, however… I digress.

            After the ‘be my girl’ event, Mark and I are spending all of our free time together, I’m sorry, slip of the tongue, all of my free time together.  I’m at his apartment more than I am at my dorm room, I’m accompanying him to all of his fraternity events, we are doing our thang. When out of no where.  Then Red Flag number one comes along (Alright let me break this down for you, red flags are those things when the relationship is over that you look back and want to slap yourself because all along the way the Lord was saying in the voice of Red Foxx “look dummy get out NOW”, ok maybe not in those words and not that voice but you get my point).  Back to RED FLAG number one, that flag had "Ex-girlfriend" written all over it.

The Ex-girlfriend flag is important.  How he treated the ‘Ex’ is a good indication of how he will treat the ‘Next’.  This is not a fail-safe, but it is a good indicator and rule.  Exceptions occur but are rare, so ladies don’t be fooled, if the ex is crazy, he had fifty percent to do with it, no matter what he says, look out, you might be next!  Let me explain, according to Mark, she is just a psycho ex-girlfriend, who just cannot let go because he is just such a good catch and decided not to be with her any longer and he has no clue why she is acting so crazy. Surrrreee, I later learn she is just a scorned female who had not yet realized that losing him was the best thing that ever happened to her, damn hindsight, it gets you every time. 

Now here I am with my happy go lucky tail, completely oblivious to the entire situation. Reality is that he has started dating me without telling her, he is no longer dating her, but I don't know this.  All I see the constant phone calls, the notes on the cars, the unannounced visits to the apartment, the screaming matches and all the while he is telling me she is just psycho and he hasn’t done a darn thing wrong. When in reality he just messed with the wrong chick that had just enough crazy in her to get him locked up for assault.  She provokes him to the point that he throws a phone at her and it hits her in the arm and she calls the police, and of course I get a phone call at 3 a.m. in the morning to come bail him out of jail.  You know what they say about Karma! 

So I know some of you are reading this thinking dang girl that was one heck of a red flag, but you gotta look at the perspective AND remember bad judgment people, I am not immune, believe me because that was just RED FLAG number ONE, it just keeps going downhill from here.